The Price of Loyalty
by screaming-madman
Summary: The Captain must figure out who the spy is, and her best shot is Tom Paris. How do you convince someone to throw away all of their hard work and make their friends think they no longer care? This is my version of a lost conversation that must have taken place between the episodes Threshold and Meld.


Author's Note: This little ditty takes place during season two between the episodes Threshold and Meld. It's my version of the conversation that must have taken place between Janeway and Paris leading towards the episode Investigations. I have often wondered what must have taken place in order for Janeway to convince someone to throw away everything they have worked for, even if it is only a temporary situation.

I want to thank Alpha Flyer, whose outstanding stories have motivated me. After reading a few of her post Endgame stories I decided that if I'm ever going to finish my other stories I'm going to have to get this one out of my system.

Standard Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Star Trek universe. It's Roddenberry's baby, I'm just burping it.

* * *

The Price of Loyalty

"Janeway to Lt. Paris, please meet me in my ready room" came the distinctive voice of the Captain through the speakers mounted to the ceiling in Tom's quarters. He had just finished his shift on the bridge and was looking forward to spending some time in the holodeck. He'd been working on a reproduction of an old race track he found in the Federation Database, and wanted to put the finishing touches on the grandstands so he could begin programming the different cars he was itching to drive. He had high hopes that he could convince Harry to take the wheel of a car as well. The computerized drivers just weren't the same as a flesh and blood opponent.

"On my way" he replied. With a sigh he removed his mechanics coveralls and put his uniform back on. It wasn't every day that he was summoned to the captain's ready room. Usually if there was something official that needed to be discussed it would be in the briefing room, or it would take place on the bridge itself. Usually if she called you to the ready room, it was either personal or you were in trouble.

Once he completed dressing he headed out of the door to his quarters and quickly made his way to the turbolift. "Bridge" he said as he began to run through scenarios in his mind. He couldn't think of anything that happened during his recent shift that might earn the ire of his captain. He had been flirting rather obviously with an ensign from the science department the other day, but this wasn't new behavior for him and she'd never complained before. As the doors of the turbolift hissed open the thought occurred to him that she may be more upset about what had taken place after their warp ten flight than she'd initially let on, but he quickly dismissed that idea. She'd assured him that she didn't hold him responsible for his actions during that whole episode.

As quickly as his long legs would carry him he made his way to the door, and pressed the controls. After waiting for permission to enter, and receiving it, he stepped into the room that served as both office and rest area for the ship's captain. She was seated in her customary location behind her desk as he entered.

"Thanks for coming so quickly Tom. Please, have a seat" she said with a smile as she got up and gestured with her hand towards the raised platform that served as a sitting area. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No thank you Captain" he answered as she ordered a coffee for herself and took a seat next to him on the couch. As soon as she sat down he became even more nervous than he already was. She was about to ask him, not order him, to do something he didn't want to do. The signs were all there after all. If it was going to be an order he would still be standing, and if he was in trouble he'd be standing in front of the desk. The fact that she sat down facing him was the final piece of the puzzle. She wanted him to feel relaxed as she threw him a curveball.

"Tom there's no easy way to say this so I'm just going to plunge right in. I believe that there may be someone on this ship feeding information to the Kazon, possible directly to Seska" she said in the no nonsense manner he'd come to associate with her. She allowed a moment of silence for the information to sink in as he relaxed a little and sat back with a look of disbelief on his face.

"What makes you think that Captain? I know we've had a lot of run-ins with them lately but to suspect that someone's a spy is a pretty big leap isn't it" he asked after he processed the information. He felt slightly guilty that he felt so relieved that he wasn't in trouble after hearing such a bold accusation.

Janeway sighed as she sat back on the couch getting comfortable. "I understand you're doubts Tom, and frankly I don't want to believe it either. We've come so far together that the thought of another one of the crew turning against us may be more than I can bear right now. The fact is that there have been too many coincidences, and they always seem to know our next move before we can take it. I became suspicious and asked Tuvok to quietly look into it. He found evidence that someone has been sending messages, very discreetly, from this ship for some time now. Whoever it is, they're damned good and know how to cover their tracks. We've been trying to trace the source unsuccessfully for a while now but we've hit a dead end. That's where you come in" she said as she looked long and hard at the young officer that sat in front of her. This was one of those times where she wished she was a Betazoid so she would have some kind of feeling about what another person was thinking.

"Of course Captain, anything I can do to help" he said quickly. The Captain smiled at his eagerness, he'd always been quick to jump right into the water without checking to see how deep it was first. His constant desire to help those around him had been something she'd always admired about him, but this was not a time for quick decisions.

"Not so fast Tom. I want to make it very clear that what I'm about to ask of you is not an order. You need to feel free to say no, and if you do I won't think any less of you. This is an extremely dangerous mission" she said as he acknowledged his understanding with a simple nod of his head. "We could always sit around and wait for this person to make a mistake but Tuvok believes, and I agree, that the only way we're going to figure this out is to put someone on that ship. Once inside they would be able to view the transmissions and discover the identity of our spy."

"So you want to raid the ship" he said as more of a statement than a question. "Don't get me wrong, I'd be willing to do it, but wouldn't Tuvok be better suited to command a boarding party than me? He's got a lot more training than me at this sort of thing. After all, I'm just a pilot."

"Don't count yourself short Tom. You're an outstanding young officer who brings a lot to the table. Normally, however; I would be inclined to agree with you, but a raid isn't exactly what I had in mind" she replied honestly. She'd been slowly warming up to this young man over the last year and no longer thought of him as the screwed up son of one of her favorite mentors. He wasn't just a project anymore and he was developing into an excellent officer who had command potential written all over him. If he could just let go of his grudges he could one day rise to take his father's place in the Admiralty.

"If not a raid how do you intend to get someone onto that ship? Do you think we'll just send someone over there to be a part of their crew? Hi fella's, remember me? Sorry about all the shooting but I would love to work with you guys now" he said sarcastically. Of course he was smiling when he said it, so that's okay isn't it?

Janeway just looked at him and smiled. "That's exactly what I intend to do. But it's a lot less simple than that." This is where things would start getting tricky. She was actually a little nervous at what his reaction would be. "Let's cut to the chase. I trust you Tom, more than I can rightfully explain. I have absolutely no doubt that you're integrity is above reproach. Hell, it's you're integrity that gets you _into_ trouble. The crew has picked up on that as well, and I don't think they would suspect you for a minute if you began to slowly deceive them."

Tom looked confused as Janeway took a sip of her coffee. Here comes the fun part. "When you first arrived on board everyone was waiting, looking for an excuse to believe that you were as bad as they'd heard. Over the last few years you've built up their trust and they've lowered their shields. You're recent, transformation let's call it, after the warp ten flight makes this the perfect time for you to begin changing into the person they expected you to be all along."

Realization began to dawn on the face of her helmsman as she plunged back into her sales pitch. "I want you to start acting out, nothing serious mind you, and slowly give them the impression that the person they expect you to be has finally made a showing. Keep in mind that only you, me, and Tuvok will know about this. I would recommend that you start by pissing off Chakotay; we both know you excel at that. Begin with minor acts of indiscipline and slowly work your way up over the course of several months to a level that will make it totally believable when you ask to leave the ship. We'll make a big spectacle out of it, and if things go according to plan, you should be contacted shortly afterwards by the Kazon. Hopefully they'll want to take advantage of your technical knowledge and you'll find yourself right where we want you. Discover the identity of our spy, and find a way home. We'll find a planet to conduct some trade with or some other reason to hang tight until you return to us" she said as she realized how dry her mouth had become. She reached for her drink and watched Tom staring at her with a look in his eyes that instantly broke her heart. She would recognize that look anywhere, it was betrayal. She waited a few more moments before speaking. "Tom, please tell me what you're thinking."

Tom stood up and ran his hands through his hair. He walked over to the replicator and turned to face his Captain "I learned a thing or two from my father before he decided I was a disappointment. One of those things is a closely guarded secret. I know that a Captain can input a command that will allow this damned thing to give me a bottle of whiskey, not synthahol, but real whiskey. I think I need some scotch Captain, and after listening to that I think I've earned it" he said in a completely neutral tone of voice.

Katherine took a moment to decide if this was a good idea or not before deciding to go with it. She was surprised he knew about this little perk, it was one of the fleet's better guarded secrets. She nodded and walked to the replicator where she began typing in a sequence of numbers. Once she was complete she said "One bottle of scotch, Glenlivet, 18 years old. As I recall this is your father's favorite" she said once the bottle and a whiskey glass had materialized on the replicator. She handed him the bottle and the glass and they both sat back down.

Then he did something she hadn't expected. He filled the glass and slid it across the table to his Captain, with a look on his face that said I dare you not to drink it. Remembering her lessons on diplomacy during her pre command course, she reached out and took the glass. She took a small sip and looked back at Tom to see if that would appease him. He just laughed and placed the bottle to his lips, taking a long swallow.

"I'd almost forgotten how much I enjoyed that" he said before he looked back at her and began to speak his mind. "I've tried so damned hard Captain. At first I honestly didn't care what anyone thought of me. I'd been at red alert so long that I didn't know how else to act. It started with Harry. For some reason he really looked up to me, and was willing to give me a chance. He was the first one to have faith in me, and it became like a drug. Once I had a taste I wanted more. Suddenly I started feeling again, and I wanted everyone else to look at me the way Harry did. I started to go out of my way to make people see the side of me that I'd kept buried for so long. Little things, like saying hello and smiling to people in the corridors. At first I had to force myself to be nice, but before I knew it I was doing it without thinking" he said as he sat back and took another drink from the bottle.

"You've done a wonderful job Tom. The attitude of the crew has completely changed over the last year. But it's much more than liking you, they respect you" Janeway said with sincerity. She almost felt like a counselor, something she desperately wished they had on board, as she silently urged him to continue.

"And now that I've finally earned their faith and respect, something I haven't had from anyone since I screwed up and got kicked out of the fleet, you're asking me to jeopardize everything" he said, looking at his Captain as he finished the sentence.

The look in his eyes broke her heart. She expected a reaction from him, but she didn't expect it to be this strong. She honestly felt he would give her a lopsided grin and agree absent mindedly. Part of her felt like he would find the whole thing fun. But sitting there, at this moment, she was beginning to doubt rather or not this was a good idea.

"I understand your reluctance Tom, I really do, and while we play our little game with the crew they will begin to doubt you. They'll slowly start to treat you the way they did when we all came together at the beginning. One by one you'll lose their confidence and when you do, we will know it's time to begin" she said as he took another drink from the bottle. "My mother used to tell me to always look at the bright side of a situation. This will be terrible for you at first, but I truly believe that once the mission is completed successfully, and we've told the crew that you were simply playing a part in a grand charade, that they will understand. They'll probably begrudgingly respect you a little bit more. Well, probably not Chakotay" she said with a grin. "He'll probably hate all three of us for a while. I can handle him."

Tom looked like he was going to say something else when she cut him off. "I don't want an answer right now. Take that bottle back to your quarters and think about it, just make sure you're fit for duty tomorrow. Make up your mind and let me know" she said as she rose to her feet. Even after a few drinks Tom recognized this as a dismissal and headed for the door.

* * *

"Paris to the Captain" Katherine heard over the speakers in her quarters. She had been lying in her bed for the last three hours, unable to sleep. She couldn't get the look on the face of her young helmsman out of her mind.

"Go ahead" she replied, clearing her throat.

"Count me in."

"Thank you Tom."

* * *

Well, there you have it, my first Star Trek story. It's really surprising to me that it took this long for me to write it. I've been fan for thirty years, and still have fond memories of watching reruns of the original series on a 13" black and white television in my bedroom as a child. Please take the time to tell me what you think...the good, the bad, and the ugly. Just remember, pointing out grammar mistakes to me is pointless. I just don't care enough LOL.


End file.
